Women and ADHD: The Hidden Struggles and Strengths

In recent years, there has been a surge in ADHD diagnoses, particularly among women. Dr. Tony Lloyd, CEO of the ADHD Foundation, stated that their data indicated a 400% rise in the number of adults seeking a diagnosis since 2020. For many, this recognition comes decades later than it should have, leaving them to navigate school, work, and relationships without understanding why they struggle in ways others seem not to. The underdiagnosis of ADHD in women is a serious issue, often leading to misinterpretation of symptoms, missed opportunities, and mental health challenges.

Historically, ADHD has been viewed through a male-centric lens, with diagnostic criteria based on studies primarily conducted on hyperactive young boys. As a result, girls and women who present differently—often with overwhelmed and internalised struggles—go unnoticed. Rather than being seen as having ADHD, they are often labelled as disorganised, too sensitive, anxious, lazy, or simply busy women. Many learn to mask their difficulties, developing coping mechanisms that work until the demands of adult life—university, work, parenthood—become overwhelming.

Without proper recognition and support, women with undiagnosed ADHD frequently experience anxiety, depression, and burnout. Executive functioning challenges make daily life exhausting, with difficulties managing time, staying organised, and following through on tasks. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) can lead to intense emotional reactions to perceived criticism or failure, causing perfectionism or avoidance. Hyperfocus allows deep immersion in tasks, especially under pressure, but often at the cost of neglecting basic needs, followed by extreme exhaustion. Many women become expert maskers, people-pleasing their way through life, trying to "fit in," which over time can lead to identity crises, exhaustion, and a loss of self-confidence.

Women, particularly those with ADHD, often face immense societal pressures to be organised, nurturing, and constantly on top of responsibilities at work and home. The expectation to do it all—managing careers, households, parenting, and relationships—can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Many women with ADHD struggle with multitasking, time management, and sustained attention, yet societal expectations rarely accommodate neurodivergent differences, leaving them feeling like they are constantly falling short.

During ADHD Focus coaching sessions, many women—often highly successful business owners—share their struggles with executive functioning. Despite their achievements, they frequently feel the need to mask these challenges, working hard to appear organised and in control at all times. This constant effort to manage and conceal difficulties with planning, time management, and focus can be mentally exhausting. Many describe feeling overwhelmed behind the scenes, relying on coping strategies that are not always sustainable. The pressure to maintain a polished, capable image can also make it harder to seek support or acknowledge the impact of their neurodivergence on daily life.

For many women, ADHD symptoms fluctuate with hormonal changes throughout life, making management even more complex. Estrogen and progesterone play a significant role in dopamine regulation, which is already a challenge for those with ADHD. Many women experience a worsening of symptoms in the days leading up to their period due to dropping estrogen levels. Some report improved focus during pregnancy, but postnatal hormone shifts and sleep deprivation can heighten ADHD challenges. Later in life, perimenopause and menopause can cause significant declines in estrogen, worsening ADHD symptoms to the point that many women seek a diagnosis for the first time. This can be a critical moment for reassessing medication and support strategies.

There is also a well-documented link between undiagnosed ADHD and the criminal justice system, with women being particularly vulnerable. Studies suggest that a disproportionately high number of women in prison have ADHD, many of whom were never diagnosed or supported in earlier life. Struggles with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and executive functioning can contribute to behaviours that lead to legal trouble, particularly when compounded by socioeconomic disadvantages and trauma. Addressing ADHD in women before it leads to crisis points—whether in mental health, employment, or the justice system—could have a profound impact on reducing incarceration rates and providing better support pathways.

The good news is that understanding ADHD can be life-changing. With the right tools and mindset, women with ADHD can embrace their strengths and create strategies to work with their brains rather than against them. Self-compassion and awareness play a key role—realising that ADHD is not a character flaw but simply a different way of thinking can be liberating. Structuring daily life with external tools like planners, reminders, and body-doubling techniques can make managing tasks easier. Setting boundaries and learning to say no helps prevent burnout, and connecting with other neurodivergent women can be incredibly validating and empowering.

During coaching sessions, many women I work with are navigating the emotional weight of late diagnosis. They carry a lifetime of internalised criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of failure, shaped by societal expectations and past experiences of being misunderstood or dismissed. Our work involves unpacking these deeply ingrained narratives, recognising where coping mechanisms may have developed out of necessity rather than choice, and shifting perspectives to see ADHD-related traits as part of their unique strengths rather than flaws. We explore how masking and perfectionism have played a role in their personal and professional lives, how these patterns might be holding them back, and how they can start to embrace more authentic and sustainable ways of working. Through this process, they begin to see their challenges through a new lens—one that acknowledges the resilience, creativity, and determination they have always had, while also allowing space for self-acceptance and strategies that truly work for them.

While ADHD presents challenges, it also comes with unique strengths. Many women with ADHD are highly creative, empathetic, and resilient. Their ability to think outside the box, focus on passions, and connect deeply with others makes them invaluable in various industries. Recognising ADHD in women is not just about addressing difficulties; it’s about unlocking potential. By fostering understanding, promoting diagnosis, and providing proper support, we can ensure that ADHD women thrive, not just survive.